ASCENSION ISLAND

A pimple in the centre of the Atlantic. Hot, dry and barren with lots of sharks, donkeys, sheep and trigger fish. You can climb up the extinct volcano to get to cooler parts where there is a fair bit to see. There is a tiny car park on the right just before the houses. Park there and walk past the first building group on the right. Just after a shed on the left by the market garden are a few steps going down to a little path running beside the garden. This goes to the tunnel. Do it without a torch, it's much more fun. The floor is flat so it's quite safe really. There is a walk (Elliot's Path) all around the summit on one level about 300' below it which is well worth doing starting from the disused piggery. From the same point walk up to the Dew Pond almost at the summit. You will need good boots for this as it is quite jungley and muddy. RAF visitors stay at Traveller's Rest between the airport and Green Mountain, just round the hill from Two Boats (BBC & Turners staff mainly live there). Mess is quite good. Officers mess is closed these days, they share with SNCO's on back side of airmens mess. Both messes are served by the same kitchen. Naafi is reasonable. Accomodation is quite modern but with shared toilet blocks and no aircon or fans even! US Base is near Wideawake airfield and is much hotter and drier. The Volcano Club there is the only place worthy of being called nightlife. A bus leaves the Naafi at 8pm on Friday nights. The back road out of Two Boats takes you to the blow hole on the N side rocks and the right turn at One Boat golf club (another contender for worst in the world) goes to English Bay, with beach volleyball, lots of sand and the most fantastic snorkelling anywhere except Comfortless Cove, where the underwater formations and caves harbour unbelievable varieties of fish. South African beer is quite similar to Canadian, but slightly nicer, and surprisingly inexpensive. Airport terminal is little more than a shed. Virtually all visitors here are passing through to the Falklands. Mikes tips:- Get here cheaply (in May, June, when it is coolest) by being in the forces and getting an indulgence ticket. Under £30. Take a fan, insect repellent, washing powder, camera, snorkel.