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United States of America
FLORIDA
:- Everyone knows about Florida and there’s loads of web info about it, so I’ll try just to give different gen you might not know (or want probably). If you are military your ID will get you into the bases where facilities are cheap and shopping is tax free. Cypress Gardens:- Often missed by Orlando visitors as it’s a bit away, but makes a superb balance to the mad world of Orlando. Water-ski and ice dance shows are ace, gardens lovely and light show good in winter. Daytona Beach:- Surprisingly little here apart from the race track. Away from race time the Travel Lodge outside the track is a good place to stay. Everglades:- Best viewed along the road to Flamingo from Florida City, near Homestead (Shivers Bar-B-Q on US1 is a must). Don’t miss the airboat ride (305-air-boat). The Mikosukee Indian Reservation was a pretty poor attempt at a tourist attraction, but may have improved in the last 10 years! If you’re only going to Orlando the lake airboat ride near there is good. Homestead:- Last mainland place S of Miami before the Keys. Airbase has been rebuilt since I was there so can't really comment on it. Nice chinese that used to do an unbeatable steak challenge. Nothing special as a town, but a good base to see Florida from. Just to the N on US1 is Shivers, the best barbeque joint in the world. It looks a dump but the cow ribs are something else!
Jacksonville:- The Landing (right between the towers and the water) is a cool place to spend an afternoon shopping followed by a beer and wings in Hooters. Club5 is it for hard-core dance fans. Go to the football if it’s on. Fantastic atmosphere. A trip to the Budweiser brewery just to the N is excellent. Amazing place and 2 free beers as well!. Very educational. The area 2 blocks N of downtown tower blocks is very run down with lots of pretty desperate looking people around so don’t stray there. Superb shopping is across the river and head E till the big X-roads where the mall is.
The Keys:- A highway of islands leading to Key West. There’s an underwater hotel if you feel adventurous, a reasonable sea-life show, a crap coral reef (but the only one in USA), game fishing, fantastic views over the inter-island bridges, shell shops & some superb seafood restaurants. Everyone should do this drive once in their life. Key West:- A fabulous place but full of queers. Be on Mallory Quay at sunset for a really good atmosphere and busking display. Lots of lively bars and restaurants. Can be very crowded in spring and impossible to get a room. Miami:- Just like Miami Vice. Beware, the dodgy areas look quite nice and suburban. Visit the Seaquarium (smaller than Sea World but a better show), the old art deco sea front and the rich area to the S is worth a drive through.
Orange Park:- Commercial/residential area S of Jacksonville around NAS JAX. Extremely foreigner friendly as not a tourist area. Loads of different nightlife. Again there is no discernible centre. Superb eating. Mike recommends The Outback, the Mongolian Bar-B-Q, Sonney’s, the other Bar-B-Q and especially tops ultra is Whitey’s, which is 3 miles S and take the R to Doctor Inlet. To finish off visit the Best Western nightclub. Don’t get there before 2030 or it will be to C&W. It’s ace later, not too noisy, good bands, reasonable prices and the people in there are always very friendly. Open every night. There’s a disco over the road at the Comfort Inn but it’s a bit average. If you can hack serious C&W the little bit of Texas is ace. NAS JAX is a top station. Golf is very good and cheap. Other facilities are top flight. There is a girl in the fuel truck pool who does computer parts very cheap and is reliable. If military ask at the USO by the gate about Jacksonville Jaguars tickets (in season). I paid $11 including transport but you must go in uniform. The game was brilliant by the way, the Jags losing on the last kick of the game to the Bears.
Orlando:- Cheapest hotels are in Kissimmee where there is full eating and shopping. Out of season no need to book it’s about $20 for 2 persons. Charge for extra persons can vary wildly. We recommend Caribbean Villas (01954 252401). Ace central yet secluded location with small cheap villas ideal for smaller family. Almost all Florida villas are huge, needing all your rellies to fill them and spread the cost. We paid £225 in Dec. but not much more in summer. Best park? Universal, and looks to stay that way judging by the huge building site next to it. Unexpected highlight of parks & Danielle’s favourite:- Universal Hanna Barbera ride!. Mike recommends:- MGM Tower of Terror - you know what’s going to happen but... Maryan liked:- Honey I shrunk the audience - feel those mice and have your shower gel ready for the dog! Pics in Florida tour. St Augustine:- Quaint, colonial, similar to Key West and fairly expensive. Alligator park is seriously overloaded with alligators. Fort is expensive and uninteresting if you’re used to European forts. In hot weather a boat trip round the bay is relaxing, and his bar is reasonably priced. The old shopping lane area is worth a wander round. Tampa:- Beach holiday area. Surprisingly few restaurants around West Palm Beach:- Worth a drive through to see how the other half live if you’re in the area.
HAWAII
:- Very expensive, but a fantastic party zone. Hickham AFB has 2 golf courses and an ace BX. There is masses to do around the islands, but I didn’t get further than there and Waikiki beach, where we stayed. Huge amounts of shopping for every budget. Moped hire is cheap. Limousines are just the same as any taxi and are mainly quite old, but worth doing once. There are lots of Japanese here, so give the food a go. Pics in Mikes round the world tour.
EASTERN SEABORD
Brunswick:- A much more palatable area of Maine with rocky inlets and some seriously good seafood. For a hint of nightlife try the dance in Lewiston, where there is a different themed dance most nights. The USN base has average facilities.
Loring, Caribou and Presque Isle:- The bit sticking up into Canada. A boring and highly uninteresting place with no life unless it’s winter and you like ski-dooing.
Washington DC:- Well worth a visit for the monuments, museums etc. Amazingly small for the capital city of the most powerful nation on Earth. The civic area is about a mile across with a belt of lobbying and research company offices around it and suburb houses around that. Nothing you could really liken to a city at all in fact. Patuxent River NAS has a very nice golf course.
WESTERN SEABORD
Whidbey Island:- Seriously rural area with some of life's odds and sods making a fairly poor existence by American standards. However they are very friendly. Oak Harbor is very spread out. Bars are 4 Pete’s sake and Allsports. There is a golf course affiliated to the USN airbase. The main NEX is a taxi ride away at the old seaplane base and is quite good. Women be warned, attitudes to rape here are stuck 50 years in the past. Pics in Mikes round the world tour.
There are 2 types of Americans. Type 1 will go anywhere and stick his nose into anything. He’s seen and annoyed most of the world and is pretty interesting to meet. Type 2 has never left the state he was born in and will bore your pants off for hours on end about whatever insane hobby he has. Learn to spot and avoid type 2 and you will have a fantastic time in the USA. You’ve all seen it on TV so I won’t go into too fine detail. Most towns have no definable center. No-one walks anywhere except inside the mall. There is little to choose between expensive and cheap motels. You are very unlikely to come into contact with crime, but always remember that people do have guns and tend to be extreme with no particular indication until it’s to late. A city may only be a village. American beer is a fine refreshing drink, but vast quantities will be needed to get you drunk. The variety and cheapness of eating out is staggering. When driving get a map as direction signs to places are few and far between, they just direct you to roads and expect you to know which one you should be on. If stopped by the police stay in the car and keep your hands in view. Petrol is so cheap it’s not worth working out the cost. Watch out for lights. They are easy to miss up in the air behind the sun visor. As a rough guide almost anything is the same price in dollars as you would expect to pay in pounds, but there are exceptions e.g. petrol, beer,fags, toilet seats (seriously!), cars, and on the expensive side health care. Very poor and very rich areas often adjoin each other. If you suddenly find yourself in a dodgy area just look confidant and keep going, following signs to a main road. Worry about direction when out of the area. Americans do not do subtlety, bush beating, satire etc. and irony isn’t even in the dictionary. They are trained to be upfront and show emotion. Always remember that although the words are the same the language is different. As an example a woman saying she would love to take you to bed is not necessarily easy, you could be the first person she ever felt that way about. It takes some getting used to.
Our top tip:- Doggy bags are not only acceptable but encouraged in USA, and not for the dog. Do not be embarrassed. We spent $60 for a full meal in The Outback and took 5 boxes away which kept us going all the next day as well.
Mikes top tip:- if you are NATO military go to Patrick AFB on the first day of your Orlando holiday. From the main entrance go straight ahead till you see the ticket office just to the right and buy all your park tickets. This will save you at least $100 over any other discount. They will give you a map to get to the BX for an hours bargain hunting, then drive 20 miles up the coast via Ron Jons surf shop to Kennedy for the rest of the day.
www.cypressgardens.com
Maryan's tip:- Try Homers Smorgasbord on the beach road to the north of town for a huge and extremely cheap meals. Full of dribbling Grave Dodgers though. A long drive along the beach highway N to St Augustine is relaxing.
Our tip:- This is a must-do trip but wear long trousers/shirts and masses of insect repellent.
Mikes tips:- Fantastic white sand is actually crab infested mud except on a few private man made beaches.
Mikes military tip:- get a room in the Navy base annex. It’s a few $$ and staggering distance from the action.
Maryan’s tip:- Back to the future ride really will hurt if you have a bad back or neck!
Maryan’s Tip:- don’t allow more than a day here, but don’t go past without stopping.
Our tip:- take a trip on Little Toot from Clearwater to see dolphins. Don’t be put off by the look of the boat, they are the best. I won’t spoil it for you, you’ll just have to trust us. At the S end of the offshore islands there is a road going down to a dead end with a little pier into the sea. Collect shells and watch the sun go down with the pelicans fishing, then on the way out there is a carpark on the right with a restaurant in a shed on stilts overlooking Tampa Bay. Looks a bit rough but difficult to recommend too highly, like Shivers in Homestead. M.O.S.I. is an ace place to take the kids if the weather is bad. More of an interactive learning experience than a museum.